I don’t have any problem making it from a poor remake of a Hollywood movie. Ah-mean, even my Ancestors in the business; Aunty Genny, Aunty Rita and the others, made it being cast in the poor remake of one Hollywood film or the other.
And they put up good performances while at it.
I still cannot forget how Aunty Genny had so much fun acting in Break Up . whether she was aware she was acting in the poor remake of a hugely popular Hollywood movie and she was doing a shoddy job at it is another question for another day.
And there was bros Emeka Ike being an agbaya trying to be the main guy in the cheap remake of Save The Last Dance in 2004.
Beht this is not about them.
This is about Game Of Throes.
Yes, I have been cast as Cersei in what a movie Producer in Asaba is hundred percent certain would be a major hit once the movie hits the screens (in part 1 – whatever he deems fit of course).
And according to him, the movie will be called Game Of Throes. He forgot the ‘N’ and honestly, if I know anything about bad remakes of popular Hollywood movies/series, it is that it is always painful i.e plenty throes to endure.
But I have not gotten plenty luck in finding roles or landing husband or even getting ordinary slim tea to sell on Instagram so I am seriously considering being Queen Cersei. He has told me we will call her Queen Sexy so people won’t think we copied Game Of Thrones :/
He said he is too proud for some noisy blogger to come for him.
Oh well, lips sealed. Who am I to complain? I am currently in a gym, trying to be believable as Queen Cersei.
Flabby stomach’s got to go and butt has to be… hold on, my Producer is calling me.
Earlier, he told me to buy Waist Trainer and Spanx so extra stomach will be sucked in because I will be naked small in some scenes.
Maybe this is another call to do something to my body, as long as he is not suggesting surgery, I am fine.
I am not going to look like some Actresses that I know. I refuse it.
“Bebe” he says, “I am proud to announce to you that we have casted the person that will be playing your twin brother Jason”
Of course, for obvious reasons, Queen Sexy’s twin is Jason not Jamie. I roll my eyes all the way back.
At least, it will be one of Asaba’s most loved, he promised me that one.
I don’t like Yul Edochie like that and I don’t think he will look good naked in our sex scenes but I am willing to try.
“Guess who?” he says with a laugh, “Let me hint you, bebe. He is one of Asaba’s most beloved”
Biko talk, aint nobody got time for guessing. Mchew.
“Bebe guess na”
“Hian, Yul what? Please, please. I am not talking to that boy for now. Please don’t even suggest him again or you will no more be Queen Sexy”
“Sorry” I say. “Who na?” I ask after a few seconds.
“Mr Ibu!!!” he screams excitedly. “He can fight with sword wella and they say he can kiss die. When are you coming in? we want to record for rehearsal to see you people’s chemistry before the biology, you know whatam saying?”
I think I faint. I am not sure. But I know darkness comes for me and the last thing I wonder before I close my eyes is, even Igwe Tupac would have been a better idea.