Bomaventure: The Adventures Of A Nollywood Wakapass #5
You see, when they promise you change and the only change you have is the small small money you always find inside your wallet and bank account when you need money, then you have to hustle like a muthaphucka.
So last week, after leaving Yaba I went and hustled in Asaba.
Having in mind that Yoruba Nollywood wants to kill me, I went for Asaba happily. Besides, Aunty Mercy J has been collecting N2million now as highest paid so me too I know Asaba is my destiny.
Or maybe not.
Anyway, as I enter the office of the Director that I hear will give me role, I saw him with one Actress with ass flatter than a Cardboard and skin which has more bleach than hypo.
She was giggling like a school girl as the Director was making comment about her ass and hitting it with his hands.
Me I did as if I did not see anything.
What is my own?
Sha, it was my turn to see Oga Director and me, I was already thinking the worst thing he will ask for will be my body and I will say no.
Beht I was in for the shock of my life.
Oga said I should pay him for the role I want to take inside the film. My jaw dropped.
Where do they do that one?
Omo, I shock o. I shock and I vex.
Mchew, I carried my bag and walked out of his Office.
As I was calling my friend who is also an upcoming actress, I hear someone talking on the phone about depositing money in the Director’s account.
Apparently, that is his way.
I sha used the leg I carry out back inside and I begged. Of course, he did shakara. But after I refused to stop crying (call it crocodile, Lizard or Alligator tears, water sha came out), he said okay.
I was put in a room with five girls later and all of us were going to act as maidens.
A role is a role. So I chilled.
When we woke up the next morning, the bleaching girl I told you about? Ehn the one loloxing with Director. She said somebody stole her pant :/
She said it is Victoria’s Secret and none of us will leave until she checks our asses.
Me that I know I will check her mouth and her face before her hypo ass comes close to my behind.
We were on that one when we hear noise downstairs o.
Oga Director and main Actress were fighting. Correct fight that dirty secrets were being spilled.
Hmm… when they started tearing clothes, we went outside and tried to separate.
Anyway, Actress vexed and left o. she say she no dey do again.
“Oya all of una return to your Village abeg” Director said as he started to leave.
“Ahan but we have not acted” I said. Ha I am becoming desperate. How will I hammer?
“Have you seen Maidens without Princess? Biko comot for hia”
I hit my ass on the floor and started crying. Yes, I cried. My Ancestors need to remove hand from my mata. E don do!
If I don’t see role, I am not coming here next Monday. 🙁