BY MISTURA OLUOMO
*Sings Frozen’s ‘Let It Go’ loudly and passionately*
Wait, before dropping mic, *sends side eye Toni Payne’s way* now *drops mic*.
Wine and popcorn, guys? I mean, my correct guys who always get my gist. Not those ones that will fly in here like Benin witches and be talking rubbish. *Rme*
So, I don’t know if you people have heard that Aunty Toni Payne, yes, the one who first officially offered her Uterus to Singer turned Politician
with Horse turned Singer back (because Politics don’t work and because he realised too late that Ogbomoso was not Jerusalem and he is not Jesus) and who was his first wife (aint nobody keeping tabs on the other women that followed so ees only Toni Payne I know) recently gave an interview where she discussed her divorce (yes, I know, you’re feeling sleepy, I was too when I heard it) for the thousandth time since it happened and how she felt THENETNG Boss was responsible for the failure of the marriage. (Read here)
In this same interview, Aunty Toni said she does not want 9ice anymore and that just like a washed up Artiste’s career, they’re done.
However, I, Mistura Oluomo, I begin to wonder, if she is done with 9ice, the marriage and whatever they shared, why the heck are we still hearing about this situation many years on?
That marriage hit the rocks way before Tiwa Savage and her (terribly copied) Beyonce outfits became popular, before Davido (who is a kid himself) went and had a kid, and before Wizkid became the new Tuface (as per father of all nations). It was way over before the naira turned to garri and started rising anyhow and wait for it… before Buhari brought change.
So why is she punishing us with whatever was responsible?
I love Toni Payne (oh trust me I do. I don’t like 9ice again cos of her), that is why I just dongerrit as to why she is still stuck on this situation.
Truth is, she would not completely move on if she does not let this go. And even though she is the wronged party, very soon, she will become the alaseju (overdoer).
Until next time, peace out!