By Tomilola Coco Adeyemo
Every once in a while, there is a always that person who takes us two centuries back.
While we don’t have anything against their decision to time travel, we just wonder, really? Do you have to drag us all with you?
Time travel for yourself and stay there if you wish, but take an entire gender with you? Hell to the nah!
While we were all basking in the euphoria of Lemonade (not the drink, the album by King Bey), wondering which of the gods we offended for NEPA’s constant stupidity and why in the name of everything good Earth decided to swap places with Mars, Actress Foluke Daramola’s interview about Feminism came into our consciousness.
When I saw the headline, I wanted to believe one of my colleagues here at TNS was trying to gain attention through the title but alas, I clicked on the Article, opened it and saw the fuckery Aunty Foluke actually said.
Maybe I am this peeved because this is one of the very few Actresses I admired growing up, or maybe I am simply livid because yet another public figure has taken us several steps back, whatever the case, I can’t help the disappointment I felt and still feel over that unnecessary interview.
For the thousand time, Feminism is not about dragging rights with the man. Feminism is about allowing women take up opportunities and responsibility like their male counterparts.
Of course we are not genetically designed to be able to handle things the same way physically (by the way, some women are even physically stronger than men) but emotionally, it is extremely wrong to limit certain emotions to women and some to men. And it is an unforgivable sin to base your argument on Feminism on that.
You would think someone like Foluke Daramola will know that.
Because according to that interview, she said and I quote;
we women tend to be domineering when it comes to issues and sometimes sentimental…
As a young girl, I watched my Parents get angry whenever my youngest brother Tunmise did things based on sentiments and emotions.
Once, my immediate younger brother, Temiloluwa, lent him his Maths’ Set for an Exam. Tunmise got to school, saw that one of his seniors (whom my mom dropped off with them at school every morning) didn’t have a Maths’ Set and he generously dashed her the one with him (don’t forget it is not his o and at this point he hadn’t used it for his own exam).
Then after the exam, he refused to bug her because, she needed it for her WAEC which was months to the time.
Guess what? He was going to borrow a Maths’ set for his own exam until my mom found out.
Tunmise still tends to make decisions based on sentiments and emotions and, it took a lot of ‘checking’ from my Parents for him to be more realistic.
Is Tunmise a woman? No.
I know a woman who handles her business like a Pro, will not betray emotions in public, isn’t overly emotional and does things Men are expected to do.
Is she a man? No.
I also know men who cry, men who aren’t ashamed to be vulnerable and men who are things society believes is reserved for women.
Are they less of a man? No.
So why are we basing our shallow and needless argument on Feminism on the mere fact that women tend to be emotional and sentimental when put in charge of things?
The fact that Foluke Daramola generalized women’s emotions (I mean, all women don’t even have same PMS symptoms) and, hinted the abuse of power (i.e women tend to be domineering) is the sole reason “a man should be a step ahead of the woman” is not only shallow but highly unintelligent.
We cannot generally attribute certain emotions to a particular gender and give that as the reason for unequality.
PS: Madam Foluke Daramola, you’re not a “Woman rights activist” if you don’t have a clue what a woman’s “right” is.