Happy New Yair used to be my signature greeting on my other column – AIRTIME. It may sound a little too late now to be wishing you Happy New Year. What with the year already in its 2nd month. Well, better late than never, right? Actually, it’s technically okay to welcome you to 2015 seeing that this is my first write up on any platform this year. Facebook postings don’t count. Facebook, even though it can and does manage to steal one’s time, is a different kind of platform. Especially in this season of ‘Febuhari‘ and ‘Failbuhari‘. Speaking of which I should probably create a third group called ‘fed(up)buhari.’
One of the many reasons I have not been able to write is because I would rather not talk politics. The point we are at right now, it’s become almost impossible to have a sincere conversation. The way some of people have been carrying on, it’s like there is not going to be life after February 14th. Perhaps that may be true, figuratively speaking, of course for some who are spectacularly going for broke, a la ‘do or die’.
So I’m going to resist the temptation to go all political on you. I’ll play the proverbial ostrich. Not quite sure the bird really buries its head in the sand. Anyhow, I’ll be talking about all kinds of things, some that make you may wonder ‘wetin concern us for dis matter’?
For what it’s worth, you do remember what this column is called, no? It’s The World According To…me!
America Runs on Dunkin…No wonder
I have been travelling. Yes, that’s the other reason I’ve been out of touch. But I have been paying attention to TV, adverts, etc. The ubiquitous Dunkin Donuts in the US has a slogan that says ‘America Runs on Dunkin’. As witty as that sounds each time I hear it I always go ‘It shows’. Or ‘Yeah, right’. On one hand, when you consider America’s obesity stats which are frightening…. running on Dunkin begins to take on a different meaning. Then again, if you have a population that’s so obese, how can they run on anything, in their dreams?
Medicine Worse Than Death?
Still on American ads, the drug ads are frightening. Whereas we in Nigeria are on one extreme-our drugs can cure all a la gbogbo n’ise ogun jedijedi, where any possible side effects are swept aside, American drug sellers believe in telling you all possible side effects all in one ad. It usually goes like: ‘Drug A is good for impotence. But if you have xyz, don’t take it’. Meanwhile, all the time the ad is running, they’re showing you how wonderful your life will be with the drug. Then the clincher: ‘Oh, you may experience varying side effects from depression, suicidal thoughts to heart attack. If you experience any of these, stop and consult your doctor.’ After you have died, abi?
For those like me who hate drugs, this is a perfect reason not to take drugs. When did a cure become worse and more life threatening than the disease? Kind of reminds me of politics right now. No, no politics.