BY ‘SEGUN ODEJIMI
I know that after reading this piece, your curiosity will get the better of you and you will listen to Yoruba Nollywood actress, Dayo Amusa‘s cover of Adele‘s “Hello.” I have even made it easier for you to do so. I have embedded it in this post.
There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Dayo was looking for some form of publicity when she was recording the ear-sore (Ehn, shebi there is something called eyesore). So, I’m going to happily give her some publicity. And since she didn’t care what form it came in – whether positive or negative, I am going to opt for the latter. Not like she left me much choice.
Tell me, Dayo Amusa, what are you actually good at? Mark, I didn’t say great. That might be too much to ask from you. Acting? Hell no! And now singing? Haba! Let’s face it, you aren’t really good at either.
The world has been forgiving you for your previous crimes against music. There was one you committed recently with Oritsefemi. But, how can you expect us to just listen to your vocal assault on aunty Adele and move on as if nothing happened? Nah, impossicant! What came over you? Was it some fever? Why didn’t you call your doctor?
I am vexed – yes. But not because, like you, I have no business going close to a microphone for the purpose of singing. I am vexed that your “Hello” cover was shoved in my face on Facebook by someone I’m not sure how soon I will forgive, and I gullibly took the bait and listened to it. The person didn’t have kind words either. But his crime is instead of issuing a stern warning against listening to the song, he added a link (like I have done here too) to it.
Truth be told, I lost some of my IQ listening to that erm… song. Maybe that’s why I’m ranting like a testicle-less ram.
I know you’re not the first Nollywood person to lie to themselves that they have a career in making music. You won’t be the last sef (although a part of me wishes that the deceit ends NOW). But please do as all a favour – there is already enough trouble in the world, don’t now come and be adding your own. Stay away from microphones. And music recording studios for all our sakes and see how the Almighty God will reward you. You will be amazed how many IQs you’ll save from destruction.
This article is not what I should be spending my Sunday morning writing. I should probably be in church. Or in a beer parlour somewhere. Or exchanging body heat with somebody. But someone has to save the world and who am I to complain when the mantle falls on me?
Now that I have done the job, I’m off to Ladipo to see if I can see some second-hand IQs to purchase. Or maybe I should just listen to Omawumi‘s cover and regain lost nutrient.
Listen to “Hello” Cover by Dayo Amusa and S. Gee. Good luck.