BY ‘SEGUN ODEJIMI
So, I woke up to the news that some very upright men and women who make up an equally upright and immensely beneficial playgroup called Motion Picture Practitioners Association of Nigeria (MOPPAN) expelled Hausa star, Rahama Sadau from Kannywood.
Her offence? Featuring in a music video. Erm, sorry. That was too vague. Rahama Sadau was expelled for hugging and cuddling in the video of ClassiQ’s “I Love You.”
Rahama Sadau, come first let me talk to you. Or ask you. Why did you sef have to go and be hugging and cuddling in the music video of a song about love? Are there no other activities you could have engaged in? Like jump over a fence. Or hurl bricks at your co-star or something. Anything apart from what you harmlessly did in that harmless music video?
It was the instructions you received from the director? Oh. Has he been banned too? No? Ehn, that one is not your business. Or anybody’s for that matter.
Ssh! Don’t murmur. The good people of MOPPAN can decide to ban you and forget all about whoever directed that music video. It’s their prerogative. What they are doing is a great service to their nation. And mankind. We should all gather and thank them for it.
Or tell me, Sadau, is there a more pressing issue that needs addressing and banning than an actress hugging and cuddling in a music video? I know a lot of people will disagree with me but MOPPAN is doing a more important job than those overrated folks in the Nigerian Army out in the volatile areas of the North-East fighting against terrorists.
Seeing how great a job MOPPAN is doing, I can’t wait for MOPICON to see the light of the day. Together, those two bodies will, in no time, make the world a better place by ridding the world of hugs and cuddles and films with “provocative” themes. And filmmakers who are under 18 or didn’t go to film school.
All that one that OC will be kissing Adesua upandan inside film will be a thing of the past. Did anyone see how they were just kissing machum machum machum inside The Arbitration? Mtchew! My annoyance don dey make me digress sef.
Sadau, the ban means you cannot be part of any work coming out of Kannywood abi? Good for you! Now you will know how financially big that industry is. How much do you think you’re going to make in Lagos-Nollywood compared to there? In fact, I’m almost certain that nobody here will call you for any jobs because of that great ban, regardless of how talented you are.
See how I’m laughing at you from here?