Synopsis: A man confessed to newsmen that he crashed in the Ajogodo River in Sapele, Delta State when the fuel in his “private jet” finished.
According to Vanguard, the man said he was on his way to attend a meeting in the United Kingdom and stopped to watch a football match also going on in the UK.
Scene 1: Man crashes dramatically into river bank, eyes unfocused, clothes disheveled.
Director: Make sure you channel your ultimate ludicrousness. Tell the most bogus story you can think of. Action!
Man: “I was flying in with what is known in the physical realm as ‘Plantain Leaf,’ but it is actually my expensive private jet in the coven realm. It crashed me into this bridge, when the fuel in it finished. My members will be here tonight to refuel it for me, so I can continue my journey to the UK. I have to be in the UK to watch football, because there is economic recession, unemployment and inflation in Nigeria.”
Director: Cut!!! Wonderful, absolutely wonderful! Let’s move to the next scene.