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Diary Of A Broke Dude Watching His #BBNaija On Social Media (Week 1) – ‘Segun Odejimi

BY ‘SEGUN ODEJIMI


Some of us are not from rich homes so we cannot afford N1,900 for subscription on our GOtv. In fact, my decoder has gathered so much dust, I am now actively looking to sell it. And I have resolved to let it go for two thousand five hundred Naira or two plates of ofada rice from Belefull.

Hit me up if you’re interested.

This year’s edition of the controversial and much-discussed reality TV show, Big Brother Naija has been around for a week and many fans have already found their favourite housemates.

For the next 12 weeks, I will be presenting a weekly diary based on my followership of the show via social media.

Here are some of the things that made my diary from Week One.

It didn’t take long before the first mouth-to-mouth exchange of bacteria occured

Even Buhari who doesn’t seem to know much these days knew it was just a matter of hours before kissing and makeup sessions would start in the house. So it wasn’t surprising on the second day when Nina and Miracle kissed.

Here’s to more kisses, especially the longer and more passionate ones.


Khloe is definitely not Kardashian

If we were under any spell that made us think Khloe had anything more in common with Mummy Yeezy than just her first name, then this week’s event has removed that spell from us.

Aunty Khloe has been getting curved and taking Ls so much that the Guinness Book of World Records might be visiting her in SA soon.

For a minute, the other day, we all stopped laughing at the sound of Big Brother’s voice to laugh at her when he told her to “hush” as she was about to say something no one in the world was interest in.


Then, in the video below, KBrule was so quick to turn his cheek, you would think he was sitting in front when Jesus delivered that cheek-turning sermon. The problem I have with this video is that I cannot unsee the savagery. Ouch!

View this post on Instagram

LMFAO #Kbrule out here ignoring #Khloe's kisses 😂 • I think we can agree Khloe not Kardashian has taken the highest number of Ls in #Bbnaija history so far 😩

A post shared by True Nollywood Stories (@tnsnigeria) on


Still on this young lady’s matter, she was caught on camera doing this…


But to be fair, it seems she is finally getting what she wants in KBrule. Or isn’t this telling us something?

Is Bitto a reincarnation of Kemen?

See ehn, our body no be wood and being together with the opposite sex (some you might actually even have a thing for) without having ‘rushes’ in your body is quite close to impossible.

But, Kemen, sorry… Bitto, please come. You are barely a few days into the house and you’re on the verge of outdoing the legacy of your predecessor.

Not only did the cameras catch you with a massive erection while you were consoling Nina, you also couldn’t get your hands off Anto.

Or warrisalldis?

Even a Twitter legend had to try to remind him that he isn’t at Pekas, Ikeja.

Ifu Ennada! Ifu Ennada!! Ifu Ennada!!!

Ifu is a Nollywood actor which means I have a reason to keep an eye on one of the housemates. While she hasn’t really been the pick of the housemates who have been most talked about, it is the little things I am seeing that is making me wonder.

First is the last few seconds of this video:

Then, this ‘tworking out’ session:

Ifu Ennada! Should I continue thinking what I’m thinking?

… And all the rest of them

Let’s watch how the chemistry between Cee-C and Tobi as well as Rico and Ahneeka develops in the coming week.

Wedding photos of DeeOne appeared online yesterday. Well, after Thin Tall Tony’s insincerity, we aren’t shocked. Even Miracle who has a wedding band on in one of his pilot pictures isn’t having anyone fooled.

We don’t actually care, thanks.

And for Nina telling her boyfriend that Kissing miracle is nothing, we also don’t care.

Thanks.

Till next Saturday.

Wait! Those ones on social media who have since Sunday been talking about how Nigerian youths are watching Big Brother Naija instead of preparing to take their country to another level, please, what kind of thunder do you want to fire you? Roasted or grilled?

Mtchew.

Oya, I’m out this time for real. Till next week.

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Written by Segun Odejimi

Apostle of Sarcasm. Writer. Former Editor of TNSnigeria. Producer, Segun & the Gang. Facebook Nigeria Trainer.

Trained as a media/theatre artist and has worked in advertising, TV and radio.