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Fuck It! All Of You Haff Craze (A Short Rant)

Walahi, orí gbogbo yin ti dàrú!

Fuck it!

“A man should always seek a woman’s consent when it comes to matters of physical intimacy and sex.” Yes I agree. 100%.

But man now asks woman in a very informal setting, “Hey, as per congi, can we shag?”

Woman calls a press conference and weeps, “I’m traumatised. How could he ask for sex the first time we’re seeing each other?”

Awọn àṣuara parapọ̀ jump to comment section, throwing spittle all over our flooded roads, braying, “May he rot in hell! How dare he? When it’s not like you people had prior sexual discussions” as if folks who have one-off sexual relations e.g one day/night stands usually send prior emails to each other, copying the Nigerian Senate and Trump, that they were going to have sex some day.

These Distinguished Members of the Order of Nigerian Aṣuaras also go ahead to moan about “kiss and tell”, conveniently forgetting how they gist their friends about how small a dude’s penis is or how a guy rode them to Saudi Arabia and back with his one-eyed camel.

Walahi, orí gbogbo yin ti dàrú!

 

This rant was first published on the writer’s Facebook page and it is a commentary on a recent social media melee involving a writer and a drama queen.

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Written by Segun Odejimi

Apostle of Sarcasm. Writer. Editor of TNSnigeria. Producer of Segun & the Gang.

Trained as a media/theatre artist and has worked in advertising, TV and radio.