For most people, especially men, asking for sex is a very big ask.
And it is also risky trying to interpret the signals you are receiving from the opposite sex because you may interpret it completely wrong.
Courtesy NFSW, here are the simple steps through which you can & should ask for sex.
It doesn’t have to be a clinical sit-down where you’re like, “I enjoy this, and this, and this, but not that, and maybe these but probably not those.” It can be done in a flirty way, brought up while you’re getting to know each other, say over drinks.
This is a very, very initial first step, though, and shouldn’t be considered all you need to do in order to get enthusiastic consent. Just ‘cause she said she’s into BDSM, for example, doesn’t mean you don’t have to ask before you tie her up for a flogging.
Turn It Into Foreplay
If you and a partner have already established that you’re interested in seeing each other naked, you can make asking for consent into a foreplay game. Murmuring “Can I take your shirt off? Can I kiss you here?” each step of the way prolongs what can often be a too-quick process. Asking questions not only ensures that your partner is into it but also draws it out, making you both want it even more.
Rub up on each other, get your sexiest voice going, and ask away!
Even once you’re past the foreplay stage of things, it can still be super hot to turn asking into naughty talk. State what you want and ask if your partner wants it too.
“I want to suck on your nipple. Do you want it too, baby?”
Ask “Do you like it when I ___?” when you want to introduce something new. Throw in some dirty words and it’s hard to imagine that your partner’s “Yes!” won’t be full-throated and absolutely enthusiastic.
Pay Attention To Body Language
We’re taught that enthusiastic consent has to be verbal because body language can be hard to interpret. However, there’s no way that body language can be removed from the equation when you’re dealing with sex, because sex is so much about bodies, right?
Always pay attention to what your partner’s body is telling you, in addition to what they’re saying with their words. Women especially are not empowered in our society to ask for what they want, so it may be hard for them to say, “Yup, do this and this and not that.”
Be Positive to Response
Reply positively to requests. You want to encourage people who ask to ask again.