First. This is an opinion piece. No one owes me any form of agreement. And I really do not demand any.
We get shey? Cool.
So now, please grab a seat, Tonto Dikeh and Mercy Aigbe. It is you I want to talk to. Most Nigerian girls aren’t exempted too.
Mercy and Tonto, both of you are fantastic talents in Nollywood. Your body of work cannot be ridiculed. We may have a critical discussion about your work but that’s not why I am here.
I am here to talk about what some might term as not my business. But those who say the fallout from your marriages is not my business are probably the biggest hypocrites ever liveth. As someone who has, in the past few weeks, done several news and exclusive pieces on the fallout and who has tracked how much the general public has consumed them, I think both of you have succeeded in making your marriages or what’s left of them, everyone’s business.
Tonto Dikeh did a very good job of making her private life public. It was as if she was being paid to do so. From “teasing” the world with Mr X to showing us photos of herself and Oladunni Churchill. Then when your boy, arrived, you told the world about it to the point that many of us could sketch his face.
When it was time for them to begin drama, they bought enough detergent and washed their dirty linen in while the media watched. There are even allegations that Oladunni Churchill paid a media house for the interview he granted.
In the last few days too, the media has been awash with stories of alleged infidelity and domestic violence between Mercy Aigbe and Lanre Gentry. While the going was good, their smiling faces filled social media. It seemed like the Tiwa Savage and Tee Billz all over again. Accusations are flying up and down. Some say Mercy has been enduring beatings for over three years.
There are those of the opinion that the goings on in marital unions of celebrities are best kept off social media, especially in Nigeria. I am of this opinion too. But you cannot dictate what makes people sleep well at night.
However, marriage is not made for everybody. You cannot say this in public though. You may get lynched by those still set in the way of old. Those who still think that marriage is an achievement. That if you are a woman after you are done with school, the next thing is to display your wares properly and “settle” down. Your wedding day they tell you, should be the happiest day of your life and that is why the society encourages people to spend the money they do not have to put together a talk-of-the-town wedding. We frown at the baby mama concept in Nigeria and if you are a single mother, you already have some “respect” deleted from you because you are not in a man’s house. In this part of the world, they are softer on the men. A man might not be married. But an unmarried man is still looked at one kain.
Now, according to the outdated tenets of our society, something must be wrong with you if you say you do not want to have a child. Even though one of our problems in Nigeria is down to overpopulation and everywhere you look, you see people who birth children without having a concrete plan of how they would be navigated through life until it is time for those children to stand on their own.
If Tonto Dikeh and Mercy Aigbe had realised that it is not compulsory to get married, most of the mess they now find themselves would be averted. The heartbreak and humiliation too. If the allegations of domestic violence are true, putting themselves in harm’s way because of marriage is one of the most ridiculous things ever. If it is true that Mercy Aigbe has been sleeping around even though she was married, it is obvious that she shouldn’t have been married in the first place.
Nobody will dictate to any woman how she puts her vagina to use. But that applies if you are unmarried. The moment you pledge your fidelity to a man, you should respect yourself, and him even if he whips out his manhood to shag any woman that comes his way. That a man proves he is a dog does not mean a woman should do the same. End the marriage if one cock isn’t enough for you. As a man, get yourself a punching bag if you cannot withhold your fists from hitting something. I am not saying any of the allegations are true but someone should have told you guys that marriage is not for anyone.
Some of the Nollywood stars we are in love with – Genevieve Nnaji (well, according to what we know), Bimbo Akintola, Rukky Sanda – are not married and I am not certain that has stopped them from being the best they can be.
You will not die if you are single. Tonto Dikeh and Mercy Aigbe and most Nigerian women should have gotten a memo to this effect.