When Ebuka asked, “Do you think luck is a thing though?” I wanted to enter into my phone and by extension, the video and give him a strong man-hug. He had just asked what exactly was on my mind.
“Yes.” Toyin Aimakhu still replied after that question.
Aimakhu is a very good actress. She knows her stuff. She has a huge fanbase.
But, like she did at #NECLive5 when she attacked Adesua Etomi because Etomi said the existing guilds in Nollywood were as good as having no use to her, Aimakhu has goofed again.
This time also, it was on live TV. It was on Ebuka Obi-Uchendu’s show – Rubbin’ Minds. Ebuka had steered the course of their discussion towards the actress’ love life. Aimakhu had been married to Adeniyi Johnson. They were together for about two years before they split. She found another romantic interest in Seun Egbegbe but their story didn’t last for too long. And thankfully for her, they didn’t make it to the altar before they parted ways. Seun Egbegbe does not owe himself his freedom after he was accused of several acts of theft.
Swipe left: #ToyinAbraham reveals she's unlucky in love & will NEVER marry an Actor again. She also reveals she can't let someone she once loved watch her move on in that space. This makes us wonder how she really feels about the #NiyiJohnson & #SeyiEdun situation. #Pressplay #Nollywood #Interviews #Rubbinminds #EbukaObiUchendu #TNSng
In the video above, she put her not being in a man’s house down to luck. According to Toyin Aimakhu, she has not been lucky with love. And she thinks that’s why she has not been as happy as other women who have soul mates are. If she had better luck, she would have a man who loves her in her life.
That, my dear aunty Toyin Aimakhu, is absolute bullshit. A bigger example of crap I have heard this week was when I heard some amazingly unintelligent women were going around with the #MenAreTrash hashtag tattooed on their foreheads.
I am sorry to be the one to point out your goof to you, madam, but love isn’t about luck. That’s the lie we have been made to believe is the truth by the society and religion.
Love is HARD WORK. You work towards having the best of it. It is not a leaf you fold your arms and think the wind will blow towards you. Even that – where the wind blows – is determined not by luck but by the forces of physics. Don’t ask me what exactly it is. I hated physics while I was in school.
But seriously Toyin, that lie you are telling yourself is what we have all been told for several decades. Especially women. You are asked to go to some religious building and pray that a man should locate you. You are not told how truly loving yourself is the first rule of finding true love. When you love yourself, you work hard at becoming the best you can be. Loving yourself and being the best version of yourself you can be does not mean cuntish men will not come at all. But when they come, because you have improved yourself so much, you can recognise bullshit whenever it comes close.
And that’s actually a very important part: opening your eyes.
Many people fall in love with their eyes closed. That’s how they get bruised. As much as people may be good at trying to hide who or what they really are, their traits are as uncoverable as smoke. But you need to keep your eyes opened and not fall for very fluffy stuff. It is easy to fall for fluff when there is this “love is luck” attitude. Luck is what you cannot affect.
But you can affect who you fall in love with. And you can most definitely decide who you walk down the isle with. When you think love is down to luck, occurrences like the ones you had with your exes make you begin to see yourself as unfortunate.
And no one should ever see themselves as unfortunate.