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Do You Wish To Die? Eat At Munchies, Awolowo Road

BY OZZIE WILLIAMS

Is Awolowo road counted as part of Ikoyi or is it an extension of Obalende?

The answer to this question is instructive for how one sees the continued existence of Munchies of a street that is supposed to be premium. If land is as expensive in Ikoyi as it is rumoured, certainly whoever owns the building Munchies occupies on Awolowo road can find better use for it, no?

Munchies is an eyesore.

I unfortunately stepped into that branch a few weeks ago, needing to have a quick bite before an early morning meeting. This was before 9am. I remember how good the roasted chicken at the branch on Ahmadu Bello road used to be. Not fully aware of Munchies decline, I stepped in this branch hoping for the same. Weeks later and the awfulness of both the food and the place is still vivid.

I bought a piece of roasted chicken and one chicken pie.  The roasted chicken must have been a carryover from time past. It wasn’t roasted this century. They must have been ‘warming’ it daily since Lord Lugard’s mistress first roasted it upon an open fire, just before dinner on the night she got tipsy and named Nigeria.

The meat pie defines hardship.  The crust was so hard I just scooped what was inside and gave up.

The less said about the women who served the food, the better. Suffice to say thoughts of puking were a constant. There’s also something dark and creepy about the whole place. How hard can it be to light up an eatery?

After noticing all this, I took a tour of the convenience and of course, my guiding principle has proven to be true again: If the convenience isn’t up to par, everything else falls apart.

The less said about the convenience, the better. Just look at the pictures.

What do I know for sure? I am never setting foot in the Awolowo road branch of Munchies again. Or any other branch, really.

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