IN MY HEAD: “Forget Their Lavish Wedding, Adesua Etomi Will Still Leave Banky W & Come Back To Me” – Kunle Remi

BY ‘SEGUN ODEJIMI

After it became public knowledge that Banky W had slid into Nollywood actress, Adesua Etomi‘s DM and she had opened the door for him – even set a table in there for him – reports emerged that she was initially seeing another actor, Kunle Remi.

From that point on, up until the climax of the former’s union yesterday in Cape Town, South Africa, Kunle Remi has had to contend – quite masterfully I must say –  with the “you lost your babe to that shinny head” remarks.

I decided to catch up with the dude this morning in my head and below is our conversation.

ME: Hi Kunle. Howdy?

KR: Apart from having to see images upon images of #BAAD2017? I’m fine.

ME: So, was it true that Adesua was dating you before Banky came along?

KR: Yeah.

ME: And she left you for Banky?

KR: Yes.

ME: Why do you think she left?

KR: I don’t know.

ME: Was it because Banky is a bigger boy than you and all you do is form fine boy for Nollywood posters?

KR: You’re mad!

ME: I know. People also say you’re not even a good actor, that’s why you depend on opening your shirt at every opportunity you get. And that’s why she left you for someone who has got everything over you.

KR: What rubbish is this, TNS? Are you a fool?

ME: Yes. Do you know my surname?

KR: Why the fuck should I care?

ME: Because it answers your last three questions.

KR: I think you should fuck off and stop your pathetic attempt to troll. That’s why nobody likes TNS.

ME: I also hear, even though you wanted to go for the wedding, you couldn’t afford the aṣọ ẹbi. They said your matter would have been worse than Masterkraft’s if you attended.

KR: Why should I attend? When I am confident their marriage will end soon. Give it two years. Or is that not how celebrity marriages end these days?

ME: Are you asking me? Are you not supposed to be one of them? At least that’s what Instagram tells me.

KR: I am not married so please don’t ask me fucked up questions.

ME: So, you think Adesua will come back to you?

KR: I am confident she will. I am waiting for her.

[END]

If you believe this conversation happened anywhere apart from the writer’s head, there is an after party planned for #BAAD2017 at Eko Hotel tonight. Everyone is invited.
The writer wishes Adesua Etomi & Banky W a blessed, fruitful and happy union.